yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
