I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
