My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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