susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
