Christians are straight up FREAKS
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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