Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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