I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize