Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
