I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
