im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
