have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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