Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
