i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
