Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
