i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
