woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
