sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
