Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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