piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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