Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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