yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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