so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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