That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have demons in me.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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