so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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