Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
