no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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