I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well I just put wine in my tea
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
