My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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