i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize