yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
