I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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