I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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