The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
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It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
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also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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