I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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