I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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