my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
