For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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