Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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