I wannas sexs uuuuu
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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