Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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