we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Come on in and take your pants off
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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