Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize