I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Send help, water and tortillas.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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