i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
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matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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