Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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