Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
