She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
