We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
