She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
