I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
