i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
