I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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