THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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