All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Those nachos came to me in a dream
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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