he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
