Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
