don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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